There’s a few sayings that mean a lot less to me than they used to.
‘If only I…’
‘Hindsight is a wonderful thing’
Before I started on my spiritual path, I used to say these a lot. If only I had seen what a … He was. If only I had listened to my gut. Hindsight is a wonderful thing but I still haven’t learnt!
Well this morning in the shower (have I mentioned this is where I get most of my information?) I started on a train of thought beginning with ‘If only’ & I suddenly stopped. Only a year ago I was saying to myself if only I had met my husband years ago. But that isn’t possible.
If that ‘if only’ had happened, I wouldn’t be the person writing this today. I wouldn’t be the mother of my 4 beautiful babies that I have now. I would be someone completely different.
Being in the previous relationships I have had, has taught me so so much.
It has taught me the sort of parent I want to be and aspire to be. It has shown me the ways that I DONT want to parent. It has shown me the person I am, in all my beauty. It has shown me that being in a relationship shouldn’t mean sacrificing the person you are, deep in your soul.
I still complain about my ex husband but that has lessened more and more over the last year. why? Because I cannot do anything about the past other than take the lessons forward. ‘If only’ doesnt exist to me any longer. everything that has happened to me, to us- was for good reason. Sometimes that hurts and is terrifying and you feel enormous amounts of guilt. But I now KNOW in my heart and soul that I would do anything for my children. I know this because I watched the man I loved hurt my son & he died before me, or rather My love, respect and faith for that man completely dissipated into anger, injustice and fear- but slowly changed into peace, strength, & motivation, to NEVER allow myself to ignore my intuition again.
If you find yourself saying ‘if only’ or comparing things in hindsight, stop and think for a moment.
Ask yourself these questions.
‘Can I change what happened? ie: go back in time and change that exact moment and do it differently?’
‘What have I gained about myself, what have I learnt by this happening?’
‘If I could change it, and lose the me I am, would I?’
The past has the lessons to move us forward, not back- if we allow it. Change your perspective.
You cannot change your past. Learn from it to become Present in your Future!