Many people won’t like the words I have chosen to write here. Some may feel anger or resentment or spite towards this person who has the audacity to speak of this taboo subjext. However, I have lost friends and family to this act they call suicide and so these are my own thoughts after consulting spirit for an answer to that question. WHY?
If we imagine for a moment that each and every one of us born into this world have microchips inside of us. Or barcodes! Each one unique to us. Each one telling a different story. Holding different information, each with a different purpose.
These barcodes we chose. We chose them for a specific reason. A specific lesson. To be a specific thing. Some barcodes expire before others, we all know that. Some seem to last forever. We know that too.
The microchips I spoke of earlier are our instincts. Built in to us for a millennium. Back in the days of eat or be eaten, sleep or live. Each of us still has these chips. The main ones being:
Survival & Intuition
Every human being no matter what the circumstance, survives. To whatever degree is needed or necessary- but it survives. It has to! It has no choice. It follows it’s instincts and it survives because that is inbuilt.
But what about when your soul is dragged down so deep into the darkness? When the darkness has cut off your voice? When you search and search for the light in the dark but no matter how long you search, you cannot find it? That little spark of light is all each of us needs. That little spark is the anchor that’s grounds us in, it gives us a rope to pull ourselves up. A ladder to climb. Finger nails to grasp and claw our way back out of the darkness- why? Because we must. It’s what we humans do. Until our barcode expires.
You see- survival is in built into every single one of us. It is not something we can change or choose. We survive in this human flesh and bone until we no longer survive, no choice no option and no decision. There is no other option. And that is proven in medical science!
So how do those who take their own lives manage to do so? Is there survival chip faulty? Or were they born with out one?
No. They are not faulty. They are not broken. They are merely resolute and strong enough in their barcodes programming to over ride that which we cannot. I believe It takes the most amazing and impossible strength, courage and conviction to take your own life. To be that resolute to over ride the one thing we are born with. Instinct, intuition and survival. The chose their lessons before they arrived. They designed their barcode and they were born with the strength to know when the time had come. To end their life here and take the lessons home. To be free from the pain and suffering they experienced. And to find peace.
It is no help to us left behind, those who hurt. Those who cry, those who’s hearts break. Those who feel guilt or anger or betrayal or the pain. But what I will say is it wasn’t a choice. It wasn’t some thing anyone could have changed. It was written long ago and chosen long before. Be thankful for the lessons learnt, the time shared and the laughter, love and memories. Weep for them but not too long. They stand beside you smiling. Free from pain and free from the human prison inside of their minds. They help us now from the other side of life, they guide and protect and love with greater understanding of the human condition. They merely had the realisation that they didn’t need to overide survival because they never stopped being. They can never stop being and their purpose here was merely finished. That assignment handed in marked and given an A+ for the lives they touched with love.
Much love xx Nici xx