My Boys will be Okay

I want to start by showing you something I came across on Facebook recently and I know many of you will have seen it too.

Today was the absolute worst day ever and don’t try to convince me that there’s something good in every day.

Because, when you take a closer look, this world is a pretty evil place.

Even if some goodness does shine through once in a while, Satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

and it’s not true that it’s all in the mind and heart because

true happiness can be obtained only if ones surroundings are good.

It’s not true that good exists I’m sure you can agree that the reality creates my attitude.

it’s all beyond my control and you’ll never in a millions years hear me say that today was a good day.

Now if you’ve seen the post being shared around, you’ll know that I want you to read it again. But this time from the bottom.

Today was a good day, and you’ll never in a millions years hear me say that it’s all beyond my control.

My attitude creates the reality, I’m sure you agree with that.

It’s not true that good exists only if ones surrounding are good.

True happiness can be obtained because it’s all in the mind and heart and it’s not true that satisfaction and happiness don’t last.

Some goodness does shine through once in a while, even if this world is a pretty evil place.

Because, when you take a closer look, there’s something good in every day and don’t try to convince me that today was the absolute worst day ever.

That’s the thing about perception, it can be changed in a moment by simply being shown a different way of seeing something.

I’m going to talk a little about my family this evening. I have 4 children aged 2 through to 12. Now over the last 2 weeks my face book have been filled with posts from other parents and in case you aren’t in the loop, right now is the 6 weeks holidays. The posts I’ve seen from parents started 2 weeks ago with statuses of being desperate for the end of the school year and excited about all the fun they will get to have with their children! Those posts have slowly descended into posts of desperation for their children to return to school, to stop fighting and for the dreaded words ‘I’m bored’ to be banned from the house. I can completely sympathize with these poor parents because that was me a year ago! One year ago I was already at the point of pulling my hair out and rocking in the corner, mumbling to myself that it’s all going to be okay, only 4 more weeks until normality returns! The reason I mention this is because life is massively different for me and for my family now and again, all it took was a change in perception.

2 of my boys have what the medical profession call, additional needs. Autism, ADHD, Aspergers, Anxiety, to name but a few, are all classed as non neurotypical disorders of the brain. The thing about these disorders is that there is no medical way to prove their existence. There is no blood test or x-ray that can determine a diagnosis. That’s why they are called disorders as opposed to diseases.

My 2 boys have had tests, but these tests were looking for things that do not fit into neurotypical behaviour….tests completed by neurotypical adults. Basically, If you are able to tick enough boxes of non neurotypical behaviours, then pow! You have a diagnosis and a label that states, you young child, are DIFFERENT to almost everyone else on the earth. Now, here’s the hard part. Hence you are not normal. Hence we need to fix you.

The thing about perception is, that if you asked 20 children similar to my boys to sit in a room and evaluate the behaviours of a typically ‘normal’ child, I can guarantee that the weird one would be that normal child, in that particular situation.

Because being normal is all about perception.

I’m not what other people would class as normal. to me, my children do not have additional needs. Their needs cannot to measured on a yard stick, against another child for one simple reason. They are them, and that child is that child. Each and every one of us is different. We each are as individual as fallen leaves from a tree. Each leaf grew from the same tree, the same roots, the same earth, yet each has a slight difference to its neighbour, to its brother, sister, friend and stranger.

We’ve seen a massive influx of non-neurotypical children in recent times, some suggest that it’s because science and psychology have progressed, some say we have become a nation of labels and making excuses for parenting failures.

For me, I believe these children, and those before them, are here for a reason. I believe They are here to teach us! To teach how we don’t need to compete with the next person. How we cannot measure ourselves to someone else’s success or failures. How those that seek to sort and order us into specified boxes, cannot.

These children? Children like my boys? are the square pegs not fitting into a world of round holes and thank the universe for them.

The reason they teach us these, and many other things is simply because they have a completely different perspective of the world. They are here to teach us, should we choose to listen, that actually we don’t have it all figured out.

Take psychologists, like Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung. They theorized many things based on their understanding of human behaviours at that time. Those theories became practice in determining whether a person was of sound mind or not, and whether that could be fixed. Those theories are now grossly outdated and new theories are then brought forward, as we learn more about the human mind in today’s society. Yet still we don’t seem able to see the bigger picture and insist on plastering labels onto people who just see the world in a new, different and exciting way.

I believe this is why so many suffer. They are consistently told that how they feel or see the world is wrong- based on someone else’s perception.

In the last 3 months I have had a friend take her life, after suffering with mental health conditions her entire life. I have had a cousin pass away, after problems with alcohol abuse. I have had a friend attempt to take his life. For, I fear, much of the same reasons, and I don’t want this to be my children, or yours, or your grandchildren.

For me, this is where being spiritual came in. Since beginning my spiritual journey I have gone from wanting to know what is ‘wrong’ with my boys, to accepting and embracing and celebrating who they are and that they do not need to fit into everyone else’s idea of a well-adjusted ‘normal’ child. The more I opened to my own knowledge, the more I saw what I was doing wrong, or could be doing better. I began to feel less afraid of standing out, and began to feel more proud of the very fact that I was born to be me and born to stand out for who I am.

My gorgeous little 7-year-old Lucas, was born with a lot of problems. He was born with a serious medical condition that could have taken him back to spirit on many occasions but he has survived. It’s a condition that left him with constant hospital visits, admissions and being very delayed with his learning. He has the cognitive abilities of a 7-year-old, however his emotional social and behavioural self are that of a 3-year-old and so far, have not progressed any further. After 2 and a half years of doing things the schooling systems way, I began to realise that it’s not always the best or only way. My son had been through so much and survived it all, only to now be at a point where he was harming himself, distraught, and a shadow of his happy bubbly self. Finding the Woolston Spiritual Centre has not only helped me to grow spiritually but as a mother too. I met my partner in crime Natalie and I learnt about a different way to help my son. I now home educate not only Lucas but also my eldest son Josh and one of my biggest gifts to them, is allowing them to be exactly who they are. To learn exactly how they need to, for them. I have changed the way I see my children, and my children have changed for the better, they are them and they are thriving! Lucas is no longer that scared, anxious heartbroken little shadow and in particular, the change in him has been inspiring.

These amazing children chose me to care for them, as others have chosen their parents They truly do have super powers and super abilities and they are here to play a part in the next evolutionary steps of human kind. Are we really so self-satisfied to think we have evolved to all we can be?

To be truly at one with ourselves, to feel no judgement towards others, to have new ways to communicate, to find the place where peace exists within our soul. The gap between who we are and who society feels we should be is closing, thanks to children like these and those warrior children who incarnated before them, showing us the way towards a better understanding.

Being more loving to all, growing within my soul, learning to be less judgemental, having that wow moment of how we are ALL one and all from the same universal energy. All of those things, along with having the honour to speak to those in spirit- have changed my entire perception.

I know now that my boys are going to be ok.

They will grow up knowing that they aren’t wrong for being who they are. They will grow up to be confident, strong, self-aware, centred and grounded adults, who follow their passions and succeed. To me, spirit has and continues to have, a big hand in that. My children are empathic, sensitive, loving and beautiful, they are not comparable to any other. Open to the universal knowledge. Just as the universe intended.

But its us that have a long road ahead of us, just to catch up with them. Only then will the perception change. Only then, will the current neurotypical people, be the weird ones!

But it can start with you. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change…

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