In my readings, I give advice to others. It’s what I do, they seek a little guidance and I try my best to provide it, with spirits help.
I try to help others to work through that which they are struggling to see. It’s easy for an outsider, someone detached from the situation to see where things may need tweaking or adjusting, but so often, what that person honestly needs is validation of what they already feel. We so easily distrust our intuition and allow doubts and our mind to complicate matters. Being able to seek that outside perspective, can help us to step back and see the situation as a whole rather than only seeing the difficult and fragmented pieces.
I love helping others work through things. It’s one of the reason why I enjoy my job so much. That moment when a person’s face changes. The ‘Ah ha’ moment! They realise the answer has been within them all that time, and there you go! Someone who had felt so disabled by life, becomes enabled and begins on their path to listening to themselves. Being more confident in their choices, trusting their intuition a little decision at a time. That’s what I feel guidance readings are all about really. Helping someone to become dependant on the person that truly matters, themselves! Helping them realise their own power. One of the biggest compliments for me, would be for a client to not need a reading again. You see, It’s not about money, it’s about helping and supporting others in trusting and loving themselves.
Thing is, you give alot of yourself on this type of path. It goes with the territory and therefore ensuring you are healthy, both physically, mentally and spiritual is massively important. Clearing energy attachments with those youve been working with is crucial. We are all energy and within this field of work, as with healers & counsellor’s- we each can easily pick up on anothers energy without intending on it. Again it’s knowing to clear and re centre your own energy as it goes with the good old empath territory.
The issue with being a ‘giver’ comes in when we give too much of ourselves.
I am a mum of 4 children aged between 2 and 12. I home educate my children which takes up a lot of my time and energy. I wouldn’t trade that for anything and I love learning with my children as learning should occur- naturally. 2 of my children have autism and one of them also has medical issues too, a currently undiagnosed metabolic condition-which has required hospitalisation many times and most recently has led to trips to London for tests, over the last 2 years.
My husband works long hours and works very hard to ensure we can continue to home educate and me stay home with them for as long as needed. He helps as much and as often as he can, often picking up where I’ve left off as soon as he walks through the door.
Alongside that I have lovely and amazing friends and family who I don’t spend nearly enough time with. Life just seems to get in the way and suddenly a few weeks (or months!) Have gone by! But I try to keep in contact with those I love dearly and of course, they have their own lives busily going on too.
I spend any spare time I have working on my spiritual development, attending workshops, practising, giving readings, doing services more recently and also writing my philosophy. I run a spiritual group on facebook with my partner in crime Natalie, Admin on a large spiritual group on facebook, as well as maintaining my page for readings, bookings etc. I’m currently distance studying aromatherapy and life coaching, before which I studied cognitive behaviour therapy.
As you can see, I have a lot of balls in the air and as well as all of the above, I also try to be there for friends when they need me, offer advice when asked, offer advice to anyone seeking it via our group or the larger group, try to attend our local spiritual centre as often as I can and well, as you can imagine, occasionally, all those balls? Come crashing down!!
It is far far too easy to not see what’s going wrong when you are stuck right in the middle of it.
It’s so easy to take on other people’s problems and energies.
It’s so easy to become responsible for someone else’s issues, to almost take ownership or responsibility for their happiness without ever having intended on it, and suddenly there are alot of people relying on you and you just want to help everyone as best you can.
I’ve finally had to take a step back and with a little help from some wonderful friends, I came to the conclusion that need to take my own advice….
I need to re prioritise and re organise my life.
I need to put my needs first.
I need to be present with my children.
Trying to be with them, while also trying to give advice to a friend or be a listening ear or research reoccuring numbers for some one who isn’t sure where to look, is not doing any of those things to the best of my ability. By trying to give my all to everyone I am slowly failing to give my anything to anyone. I have been becoming poorly. Tired. Achy. Low and irritable.
I’m good at giving advice to others, not so great at taking my own medicine though! However, If I want to be the best me I can be, I have to learn that prioritising my own needs MUST come first. It’s so hard feeling like you are going to fail by not helping everytime someone needs you. Being honest with yourself, with what’s going wrong and admitting you can’t do it all is so difficult. I’m not superwoman, I’m human just like everyone else.
1. I need to look after me. For example- Being up at 2am is not helpful for anyone!
2. I need to concentrate on creating realistic housework, home ed, and social routines for myself and the children.
3. I need to be the awesome mum and home education facilitator, I know I am. The best way to do that? Know my limits in terms of giving my time, energy and head space to others.
4. I need to re-learn to say no.
5. I need to remember that I am not responsible for others choices or happiness. Only my own.
6. I need to re-create healthy boundaries within my friendships.
7. I need to re-organise my hours for work, to when I am truly available and stick to it!!
It’s time to simplify my life so that I know I am doing the best for me and therefore my family. I love my Friends and my work dearly but I HAVE to stop spreading myself so thin.
This life adjustment is much needed and some thing we should all be doing, as often as needed (preferably before we get to meltdown point)
I also need to remember to let others be there for me more too.
At the end of the day life is fast paced, and we need to ensure we are prioritising the correct things and the right people. Starting with ourselves and what we need first. No one wants to think they are 5 or 6 on someone’s priority list but hey, sometimes we have to accept that life changes and flows and we either adjust our sails to follow the change of course, or fight against the current. I for one am done fighting that current.
Some people may not like the changes I need to make, but the simple truth is, those that should be there, will still be.
This grown up stuff can be hard work at times!
x Nici x