It’s hard to remember to become mindful when something happens. Often our first reaction is to panic, Stress, catastrophise.
I am only human and do this at times too. I’ve learnt to become a lot less reactive than I used to be, but mindfulness is a practice for a reason. You have to practice regularly to build up your state of balance.
Something has been brewing for a little while and it has been causing undercurrents of stress within our family. Learning to adjust to life changes, trying to find the flow can be difficult when the flow changes every week. Add children to the mix, who are hyper aware of change? It’s a recipe for unrest.
But within that, we’ve been slowly working towards a more mindful approach to life as a family. Two examples of how we are approaching life are below.
1. 2 stars and a wish at dinner time. 2 things we enjoyed today and one thing we’d like to try tomorrow. The children aren’t able to try mindful eating currently as that would draw attention to textures and flavours that they may not have been aware of yet. When you have high alert senses, dinner can be a battlefield so instead, we are mindful of our conversations and building each other up. Listening to others because we want to hear what they want to celebrate, rather than listening just to reply.
2. We work on mindful breathing too, which is helping massively with my 7 year olds emotions and helping him to become aware of his body and how emotions feel within it.
All of this is great and any steps toward more mindful living can only enhance the joy and encourage appreciation for life, as it is, in each moment.
But I have my own blocks of course! Mainly associated with things outside of my control. But after finding myself tearful and stressed, with a migraine brewing- I brought myself back into the body and recognised these emotions for what they are.
They are an autopilot reaction to a situation and as soon as I recognised this, accepting the key factor and appreciating how I felt in the body, the overwhelming feeling began to dissipate. I then became aware of my truths.
Can I change this? No.
Can I make it so it hasnt happened? No
Is worrying and stressing myself, or catastrophising about the future, going to change anything? No.
What can I control,
what can I influence,
what is out of my control. (Let it go)
I felt so much better and I was then able to see everything as it was, in that moment and clearly see the elements of the issue, I need to apply myself to.
What I am working on however, is seeing the triggers sooner. I still got unnecessarily stressed and that resulted in a migraine that still is under the surface. That’s one of the hardest parts. When you have a mind going 200 miles an hour, panicking, stressing, going through 10 different scenarios (none of which are happening right now) it can be hard to trigger yourself into realising what you are doing.
But I’m proud. Proud that I recognised. That I took myself through my processes to get out of my head and back into my body. Pleased I managed to become present in the moment and take that time to step back, breathe and reconnect to myself. Some of it was even automatic, once I brought myself back from the trigger.
It’s all practice after all and one that I find more and more, helpful and beautiful everyday.
Mindful or mind full? It is a choice and a beautiful one.